Instead, right as the film starts to get truly exciting, we cut to a title card that reads “9 days later” and the family is simply allowed to go home and resume life as normal, like the entire first hour of the movie never happened.
This abrupt change in pace and story gave me whiplash, but it doesn’t end there. In the latter half of White Noise, Babette joins some kind of bizarre experimental drug trial, with a creepy man named Mr. Gray who seems to have been pulled directly from Jack’s deranged hallucinations.
After tracking down Mr. Gray at a seedy hotel, Jack shoots him, only to then surrender his still-loaded gun, offering Gray an opportunity to shoot both Jack and Babette.
Then, the three of them become fast friends while tending to their wounds, and I swear to god I’m not making this up, attend a hospital run by a group of atheist German nuns.
White Noise ultimately concludes with an ill-advised dance number that feels like it was created by some kind of poorly-constructed artificial intelligence, ending the film on a truly baffling note.
